Bipolar Depression

Split like two sides of the same coin,
Polar opposites - North & South,
Unable to part ways, twins conjoined,
First respect , now insults in my mouth,
Aggravated pouts, what was that all about? Dispel my emotion like water spouts,
That wasn’t very Christian-like, i want out - false representation - i guess I’m devout,

The hopes & dreams don’t envy me, I’m a case of assaulted battery,
The angel side of me is overshadowed by the devil, the flattery hasn’t leveled with me,

I snapped on my best friend & didn’t think twice, i snapped on Corina & that shit won’t suffice,
My mood change is like white on rice - i can’t fight the notion that my mental ain’t right,
Mental capacity: slight, back-burned from the light that truth sheds on my persona , but I’m still not alright,
Im just a guy who hides all his ties & lies - to my surprise , i really have a mind that guides,

Different side of mine that i display in time,
Its provoked but usually while crying,
I hate who i am, I’m beloved by many - that shit really is backwards - my mood has never been steady,
Can i change my ways, i don’t think that I can,
Resilience is not who I am,
Covered in flavor, covered in bland,
To be real, i couldn’t give less of damn,

Split like two sides of the same coin,
Polar opposites - North & South,
Unable to part ways, twins conjoined,
First respect , now insults in my mouth,
Aggravated pouts, what was that all about? Dispel my emotion like water spouts,
That wasn’t very Christian-like, i want out - false representation - i guess I’m devout,

The bottles of drugs that make me hobble ironically cause me to go full throttle,
The only time i was happy, without a problem was playing Thomas the Tank Engine as a toddler,

Gobble & gobble - I’m a monster - insatiable issues & tissues - so i grovel,
I lock on to my smile & change it to a frown - unwavering focus: press R3 to toggle,
I wish i had some money, wish i hit the lotto,
I could buy happiness to get out this pothole,
“But how though?”
A question so unreasonable, through money happiness is attainable,

I’d sell my soul if it wasn’t split in half,
I’d look at my struggles, then sit & laugh,
At times i wonder why the meds take effect, I rather be alone, to hell with my task,
Where the hell is my dad?
Why am i never glad?
I can’t celebrate the victories i just had,
Hopeless & sad,
Fragile & mad,
Stop my breathing, stop my gasp,

Split like two sides of the same coin,
Polar opposites - North & South,
Unable to part ways, twins conjoined,
First respect , now insults in my mouth,
Aggravated pouts, what was that all about? Dispel my emotion like water spouts,
Let’s clear the air with this daring shout:
Stop my breathing, i want out