Cheat Day
I woke up Saturday
Tinder match with Natalie
She brought the ramen and the cake
Weird combo but I was fine with it
‘Cause she was fine with it, yo, I can’t complain
She ain’t want it all to go to waste
When all the cake just goes to her waist
But her waistline looking mighty fine, yo, I get it
She talking bout all of the squats that she does in the gym, how she sweat it
Claiming the ramen and cake after leg day gon’ be the reason that she get it
But she ain’t gotta lie to herself, just to me, bro I ain’t in the gym
Tell her that I ain’t really interested but she still trynna get it in, huh?
Told her we’d go on a date
She ordered ramen and cake
I ordered the pizza and fries, I’m just living my life, I’m just watching my weight
And then after she pays, she tells me it’s a cheat day, in the most discrete way
She whispers that all of her cheat days last like three days
And that’s fine, I guess, ‘cause like, I ain’t stressed, except she just asked how quick I digest
And that’s high key a super weird question to ask somebody, like anybody, but I digress
Her place, she says “be my guest,
But I need a little help, I‘m trynna leave my dress”
And I’m like...wait, what?
Ooh bro you about to get it,
You ain’t been here for a minute, it’s gon’ be explicit
You about to snatch her soul, she ‘bout to see it vivid
Get a ticket for the ride ‘cause she don’t see a limit
“I’m ‘bout to put you to work
Go down and get your dessert
Get into it like it’s ice cream, then when I scream do what we rehearsed”
Down on my knees like an animal
You are what you eat, I’m a cannibal
She like the feeling it’s magical
I make her C like the capital
But I never capitalize, here is a word of advice
Whenever she says cheat day’s three days just always be wondering why, she never lied
‘Cause that’s when her boyfriend arrived
I saw the fear in her eyes
She said “you gotta go,
This man is 6 foot 4 and benches like 425”
I should probably get my...I’m sorry, I’m sorry you said he benches 425? That’s...That’s almost 3 of me...Jesus Christ!
I should probably get my ass up out of here before he sees me
I don’t need a reason to be watching TV
From a hospital looking at the cost, it’ll probably kill me and I honestly don’t think that I’d be able to survive it
She said cheat day I thought ooh
Little cake and ramen noodles
I don’t understand her methods, she just played me but it’s cool
I’ll stay out ya DMs
I learned my lesson, from AM to PM I can’t just be swiping on girls when I see them and they talk about cheat days
Ooh bro you about to get it,
You have been here for a minute, it’s gon’ be explicit
He about to beat your ass, I swear, this man is livid
Get a ticket for the ride ‘cause you know he ain’t with it