Getting Older

(It's so weird)

I'm getting older, I think I'm aging well
I wish someone had told me I'd be doing this by myself
There's reasons that I'm thankful
There's a lot I'm grateful for
But it's different
When a stranger's always waiting at your door

Which is ironic
'Cause the strangers seem to
Want me more than anyone before (anyone before)
Too bad they're usually deranged

Last week I realized I crave pity
When I retell a story I make everything sound worse
Can't shake the feeling
That I'm just bad at healing
And maybe that's the reason why sentence sounds rehearsed

Which is ironic
'Cause when I wasn't honest I was still being ignored
(Lying for attention, just to get neglection)
Now we're estranged

Things I once enjoyed
Just keep me employed now
Things I'm longing for
Someday, I'll be bored of

It's so weird
Oh, it's so weird
That we care so much
Until we don't

I'm getting older, I've got more on my shoulders
But I'm getting better at admitting when I'm wrong
I'm happier than ever, at least that's my endeavor
To keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure

'Cause to be honest I just wish that
What I promise would depend on what I'm given
(Not on his permission, wasn't my decision)
To be abused

Things I once enjoyed
Just keep me employed now
Things I'm longing for
Someday, I'll be bored of

It's so weird, so weird
Oh, I care so much
Until we don't
Yea-yeah, oh-ohh-ohh-oh-ooh
That we care so much
Until we don't

But next week, I hope I'm somewhere laughing
For anybody asking, I promise I'll be fine
I've had some trauma, felt things I didn't wanna
Was too afraid to tell ya, but now I think it's time