WITH U (21)

I’ve got a bad habit
Of making things seem worse than they are
Or maybe I’m just scared my fears will come true
Or scared that I might lose you
It doesn’t come easy
The front I put on every day
So I can just smile away and say
That I’m doing fine
And things are okay

I’m overwhelmed again, the familiar feeling
I’m being ignored again so I’ll just stop speaking

21 is supposed to be fun
But I think that I’m done
So why don’t we go home
We don’t have to be alone

Ive been trying to write differently lately
But still stay true to how I feel
Only writing stories that are real
I can’t help the way you read in my mind
Friends I used to stay up with ’til the sunrise
Now have children and houses
And I’m here fighting addictions
Making backwards progress

I’m overwhelmed again, the familiar feeling
I’m being ignored again so I’ll just stop speaking

21 is supposed to be fun
But I think that I’m done
So why don’t we go home
We don’t have to be alone

I took a step back to get a better look
At the changes that I’ve made
But it seems its all for worse
Walls built higher everyday
I used to hug all of my friends daily
And tell them all that I loved them
Now that’s something I struggle showing
Thanks to the trauma in my head
My biggest goal that I can remember
For as long as I’ve lived
Is to make my family proud
But I feel far from it

But I don’t want to let them see me
In the states that I get in
So I close myself off from the world
Until my growth begins