Alpha

Eyes shut, tears streamin
The only thing I can hear is me screamin
All of my control just keeps leavin
No one's here to hear me pleadin
No one's here to heal the bleedin
No one cares if I'm still breathin
And I try to make me stop
But I'm so weak that I can not so

I go in my room
And start hiding
Just to shut out
All the things that they say
They tease me that
I'm stupid and worthless
So I break down
And just give in

Why do you look so stupid Dylan
Why the fuck are you so useless Dylan
You'd think you'd go home
And lose this feelin
But if I'm tellin
The truth it's killin
And cavin in from the roof and ceilin
And crashin down on me
Ma, why you always lashin out on me
Always askin why I flee
You never gave me a chance to breathe
And, wouldn't hesitate to call the police
And you were never fuckin pleased
And acted, like I'm a damn disease
Always decrease my self esteem
Never treat me like a human being I

Get away from her
In the basement
But I can't help
When they start chasin
Cornering me
And making me helpless
I run away
Every chance that I get
Cause I've no control
Of my emotions

I'm sick of all the excuses I use
And letting them do as they please and they choose
I'm tired of letting them push me
And I'm tired of being a pussy
Tired of being low on the totem pole
So I decided that I owe them no
Faintest show of mercy
While I'm writing and rehearsing
Remember, listening through the sleeve of my hoodie
Cause rap's the only thing that understood me
And I remember the transformation
Going from shit to salvation
Being beaten by reality
To evolving an alpha mentality
Cause right when I felt I was shrinking
Decided to change my way of thinking
Just cause you thought I'm fat and ugly
You are not in fact above me
Garnered all of my resistance
Cause you will acknowledge my existence

Skip through the years
I start changing
Into something
I thought I'd never be
I grow older
And much wiser
But I'll not forget
What brought me here