Flirtin’ with the Pastor (Parody of ”Flirtin’ with Disaster”)

I'm baffled by the folks who like flirtin' with the pastor
It's hard to get 'em through the door and they're hardly comin' after
They're out of money, passed the buck when he took up a collection
Well, how much more must they make before God gets a fraction?

They're flirtin' with the pastor, but they'll go when in need
And then they run and hide till Easter and Christmas Eve
They got a Bible on the shelf but when they gonna read it?
They can't commit time they do for lesser things

They'd rather lay down in their cozy homes
He's still tryin' to drag 'em to Heaven though
They're not tryin' to turn that reverend gray
Seems like they may though anyway
(You know what I'm talkin' about, maybe?)

Sneakin' out on the pastor on Sunday the faithful go 'round and 'round
If they don't like his sermons enough they leave and go crosstown
They want the best in troubadours and they like their funny laughter
And other guys just stay in bed and they wait for the hereafter

Flirtin' with the pastor, y'all, I ain't sure they know what they need
You know the way they run and hide till Easter and Christmas Eve
They got a Bible on the shelf but when they plan to read it?
You can't just live your life through dudes on Christian TV

They'd rather lay down in their home sweet homes
He's still tryin' to drag 'em to Heaven though
Though they might return but never stay
They're flirtin' with the pastor anyway
(And you are too maybe)
(He's prayin' for everybody)
LEAD

Flirtin' with the pastor, babe, they ain't sure what they need
You know the way they run and hide till Easter and Christmas Eve
They got a Bible on the shelf but when they plan to read it?
They cram for this just like they do for SATs

They'd rather lay down in their cozy homes
He's still tryin' to drag 'em to Heaven though
Though the guy's been burned by them, he prays
There's certain things a pastor can't forsake