Expendable

Ladies and gentleman of the
Geonosian Gladiator arena!
Presenting the epic battle of
A Star Trek Redshirt
And a Star Wars Stormtrooper!

Expendable!
I'm wearing red and I'm expendable!
You need me dead? I am dependable!
You need me alive? I'm not your guy!
Cause on the surface where Spock and Kirk is
It's almost certain that I'm gonna die!
Expendable am I! Terrible!
When it comes to shooting I'm just terrible!
I shot at 210 rebels and
Didn't hit a single guy!
I couldn't hit the Death Star
While on The Death Star
I'd probably shoot my foot and then id cry!
A terrible shot am I!

Back at the Academy no one was as bad as me
Though I tried my very best!
Made my teachers all irate!
Puked from every thing I ate!
Got an F on every test!
Though Overselling was my wish
I broke the main deflector dish
And they threw me out of class!
Then they caught me raising heck
Naked on the Holodeck
I thought there was no way I could pass
But then just when I thought I was screwed!
They said "We got the perfect job for you!"
"Ya do?!"

"You'll be Expendable!
You will wear red and be Expendable!
For getting dead you are dependable!
In fact you are the perfect guy!
If shields are down or we blow a warp core
It's almost guaranteed you're gonna fry!
Expendable!" am I!
Back when I was just a teen
Growing up on Tatooine
Beggars canyon was my scene!
But my aim was really bad
Couldn't bullseye one womp rat
With my trusty T-16
This made me a little stressed
More than just a bit depressed
Drowned my tears at Anchorhead
There I met a man named Big
Said he had the perfect gig
To put me to the test!
But then just when I thought I was screwed!
They said "We got the perfect job for you!"
"Ya do?!"

"You will be terrible!
When it comes to shooting
You're just terrible!
You'll shoot at 210 Gungans
And not a single one will die!
We'll get the last laugh
On Palpatine's ass!
By building him an army of guys!
So terrible" am I!

And that's how i became a Red-Shirt!
And that's how i became a Trooper!
And though apart we are pathetic!
Together we are super duper!
I'll shoot at you from a foot or
Two and yet much to your surprise!
I'll miss you! Yet I'll still die!
I'll miss you!
Yet I'll still find a way to die!