Dial a Hitman

She's bugging me again, run to use the phone
Find and rent a hitman from the twilight zone

It was good in the beginning, the wife's become a drag
Found me a solution in Adventure Mag
Five sees as downpayment, it's just a call away
Cheaper than some legal fees and they do the job today

So if you got a problem, pick up the telephone
For the guns and glory cowboys from the twilight zone
At the Continental Club, there's no extras for striptease
We're the gang that couldn't shoot straight but we aim to please

Viet vets and drifters shell shocked from the hill
At the Continental Doc Savage pays the bill
Yeah soldiers of fortune but we're not mental giants
But mister I must tell you, neither are our clients

So if you got a problem, pick up the telephone
For the guns and glory cowboys from the twilight zone
At the Continental Club, there's no extras for striptease
We're the gang that couldn't shoot straight but we aim to please

Did a job in Georgia, money in advance
Fingers through the post with chilling nonchalanche
I've seen some civil war now, for the cash we took their lives
Back here on the homestead rich on peoples wives

We're eighties bounty hunters with comical ineptitude
Modern cowboy cadres, guns and glory dudes

So if you got a problem, pick up the telephone
For the guns and glory cowboys from the twilight zone
At the Continental Club, there's no extras for striptease
We're the gang that couldn't shoot straight but we aim to please