Self Destruction

I don't want anymore pain
Or imma end this myself
I wanted to end all of me
Cuz I didn't have no help
I was dying on my seat
Ready to see her in hell
But Jesus came to rescue me
While I was walking by myself
Internally dead
My intentions were not to break but I internally did
My progression started to fade eventually I was lead
To suicide in my head emotionally I was wrecked
Cuz I drifted away from all incoming tracks a head
I spun out and wasn't afraid cuz I was glad I did
Purposely flipped to split my brain from half to ten
The mask again was worn to pretend like I wasn't dead
People told me I needed rest looked like I haven't slept
Yes I did two to three hours back to the walking dead
I'm supposed to be Bless but I chose taking my life instead
Cuz no matter what I knew I couldn't have her again
I was truly depressed because I couldn't defend
The love I had for her so I decided just to end
This endless suffering but little did I know I would've been
More empty than I've ever been
Bro I have never been so unhesitant
I don't want anymore pain
Or imma end this myself
I wanted to end all of me
Cuz I didn't have no help
I was dying on my seat
Ready to see her in hell
But Jesus came to rescue me
While I was walking by myself
Body is strapped up
Copy lets self destruct
On three we'll detonate
Then after let's gas it up
On me I strapped up
Boomings to self deduct
A life I felt was waisted this disaster was enough
To blow my temple up
And when I blew the explosion left nothing to construct
There was no such thing as love
And no such thing as trust
More empty than a cave with more eco's than my plugs
And one day a memory came into my head
It was a sentence saying come I will give you rest
And I immediately knew who was feeding me bread
It was the Holy Spirit of God come ¿again
Cuz I thought there was nothing else in this vent
And He said my son
I have never left
Come to me Live with me
I will resurrect
You from the dead
So you can live once again
So now I live for Him
I don't want anymore pain
Or imma end this myself
I wanted to end all of me
Cuz I didn't have no help
I was dying on my seat
Ready to see her in hell
But Jesus came to rescue me
While I was walking by myself