Saturday Morning Confusion

Here they come, warmin' up
I hear the pitter-patter of little people on the livin' room rug
Whoa is me! There goes the TV
Now it's Popeye and Pluto, Batman and Bozo
Don't spill the corn flakes, they'll break at lunch break
Home from the office, why did I stop to have a beer with the boys?
Now my head's 'bout to pop

It's a Saturday morning confusion
If you think you can sleep, it's illusion
'Cause you'll probably get a rude intrusion from Harry the dog
Harry the dog is as big as can be
'N Harry the dog had puppies last week
We couldn't tell if it's a he or a she, now we know

It's a Saturday morning confusion
If I could just get to the bathroom
And get a cold rag and an aspirin to help how I feel
But here come the twins and they're screamin' at me
What is the deal to turn off the TV?
"Go ask your mother and quietly, your daddy is ill"

There he is-Cousin Jack
You got the leaf rake, too, keep at it 'til I get it all back
Hangin' round my yard, snoopin' in my garage
I tolerate 'I'm because he's my cousin
He's nice to the kids and Harry just loves him!

It's a Saturday morning confusion
And if I could just hide in my attic
So I couldn't hear my wife yellin' "Take 'em all to the show"
I'll take the whole neighborhood to the show
I'll just walk out in back where the money-tree grows
Grab me a handful and off to the show we'll go

It's a Saturday morning confusion
And if I could just get a transfusion
Or maybe go hide in the bedroom till five o'clock
Let it be known that at five the TV
Is gonna be tuned to the game Of the week
And that goes for dogs and twins and the whole family

It's a Saturday morning confusion
It's a Saturday morning confusion day is done

Cousin Jack, in his yard cooking steaks on a grill that I'll never get back
The twins in front of the TV, Harry with his fam'ly
Sis on her date and Mom at the door smiles as she surveys the sight
For the first time today, the kingdom is quiet

LORD, LET US THANK YOU FOR SATURDAYS
AND MAY THEY REMAIN OUR FRIENDS!!
Cause I work all week long
Be strong till they're grown
And next Saturday then, we'll do it again

A- Here they come, warmin' up
I hear the pitter-patter of little people on the livin' room rug

FADE
Whoa is me! There goes the TV

Transcriber's NOTE: Russell also wrote "Honey", "The Night the Lights Went Out
In Georgia", and "Little Green Apples."