Out Of Here

Okay, so it might appear
To an outsider that you found your way up out of here
They're saying you died of suicide
That's the last thing I want to hear
They tell me that it's hardly fair to blame myself
What a hell of a cross to bare
You didn't say it in your letter
But the fact that I failed you is loud and clear
Found out the amount of fear
You would drown when you found yourself naked staring down the mirror
And partners are supposed to lay the cards bare
I left you playing solitaire, but I promise you that I'm sincere
If you're looking for some judgment, you won't find it here
Let's be honest here
I can't say I've never known that kind of despair
When the clouds appear, how's life fair
I just want to draw you near
Not to make it about me, but how could you check out
Before you really allow me a chance to sit down and hear?
I think I would've listened
Or were you saying it all along and I just missed it?
You sang your swan song, we all dismissed it
Because you filled the room with laughter
I watched when you thought no one was looking at you
In hindsight, I wonder where your smile went
When the party ended and you swallowed it
I saw you swallow it

Okay, so it might appear
That you took yourself up out of here
How many cries soak through your disguise
Before you drown in your silent tears?
Okay, so it might appear
That you took yourself up out of here
How many times can you fight for your life
Before you throw that white flag up and volunteer?

I've had car accidents
Where everything is slow motion no matter how fast it's happening
Every second that pass stretches so that you can watch it unraveling
But can't always react to it
Your whole life might flash before your eyes
The minute when you transition to the other side
But what can actually happen in that time?
In-between the leaping and the moment you collide
In-between the trigger and the blast
In-between you let go of the wheel and you crash
In-between the moment you swallow the last pill in the bottle
Turn out the lights, roll the dice on tomorrow
Is there a moment to reflect, can there be regret?
Is there a wait not yet, let me reset?
Or is it just too painful to accept?
That maybe death just seemed best

Okay, so it might appear
That you took yourself up out of here
If you not winning, you can go down swinging
Even if it doesn't feel like they're fighting fair
Okay, so it might appear
That you took yourself up out of here
I'm trying not to resent you
But you left me defenseless in this life we share

Every man before me in my fam died by his own hands
How am I supposed to understand my own role in this plan
When nobody who grows old stands a chance?
What about this mysterious dance
Made you cut the cord to the curtain in advance?
These are questions I can only ask
The person looking back in the looking glass