Comfy (feat. Ja-P)

Yo
I don't want to live this life no more
But I guess it's hard to leave it cuz I'm finally feeling comfortable
And everybody in my circle asked me where'd I go
Cuz I been disappearing from the world like imma fuckin ghost
Anxiety eating me like a fucking host, depression just looking like, yo
Here's a toast, for making it through the highs and lows witcha
And getcho hands off that liquor, and getcho ass in the picture
Depression show off her figure
She looking good from the front to the back
Damn, I think imma go smack
And maybe get the digits and revisit her dangerous ass
Especially relationships that timber and my job don't pay me shit
I've been looking in the mirror thinking why I don't just quit
I left my lady high and dry, like a pothead
But the pot we smoked together couldn't make us stay united
And even stopped the lying and the leaving
In the middle of the night
Then you was happy the next minute now we screaming and the fighting
Who the hell am I to talk to
When I was happy with depression I just let her do whatever she was kissing on my neck
Making me feel, useless
Makin this all, confusing
I refuse to think that it was an illusion, I don't know who else to talk to
So I guess I'll express myself with these bars
I just been picking at scabs and healed scars
Blood dripping down, I don't make a bloody sound
Keep it moving some, how along the way, I abused it
Now I use it to my advantage my ability to procrastinate
Is more than higher standards but what's fascinating is the fact that
I could prolly pass the greats
Kendrick, Hov and even Drake
I look back and they yelling wait
They see me cross the yellow tape
Now it's time to celebrate, skip the flower tossing
I just wanna cross the top of heavens gates, just for heavens sake
Demonstrate by savin grace
I know the angels round me levitate
But I just feel like deaded weight
I've always been the one to made the music but I'm facing it last
Cuz I know there's certain shit that I'm not making it past
I've been running for a decade feeling safe on these tracks
I skip appointments with my doctor cuz he's waiting to ask
Was it worth it? Do you think it made you better as a
Person? Are you proud that you survived and put the
Work in, you've been suicidal, Has it worsened
Music's taking off for you, so tell me, is it working, look
I've given up, we tried to fix me enough
How can he say he's proud of me then make me piss in a cup
They used to tell me it gets better, I just wish that it does
I talked about it for so long that they stopped giving a fuck
Why should I anymore? Why even try anymore
Why am I writing this for free I think my life should mean more, if it doesn't
I'm more inadequate than telling any addict, quit
It doesn't work, I need a handle just to have a grip
She knows I'm under stress
Cuz when I get like this I fuck her less, if I tell her bout it she's a fuckin mess
I was never strong enough to be the one to flex
I would rather have 12 cuff me than do another step
I don't wanna cry for help anymore
I don't wanna talk about my mental health anymore
I don't wanna open up when I don't feel the need to cope
With all this pain that I can't speak on cuz I felt it before, it's like
I'm tired of being aggressive
I'm tired of thanking God like I needed the lesson
I'm tired of being lost when I needed direction
I'm tired of who I am when I need your attention
I die in all my dreams, so if it's coming true
All I want is to go though my life as numb as you
But then you'll figure out you're not enough for you
And turn out just like me, so you better learn to get comfortable