The Sideboard Song (Got My Beer In the Sideboard Here)
Mother phoned up last night, she was going spare
She was in a temper, pulling out her hair
"Your sister's brought in this scruffy looking head
Father don't give a monkey's, this is what he said"
I don't care, I don't care, I don't care if he comes 'round here
I I've got my beer in the sideboard here
Let mother sort it out if he comes round here
I said to me mother, let me have a talk to dad
So he comes to the telephone, he wasn't half mad
Says "She's got no sense, the silly little cow
And if he comes round here there's gonna be a row"
I don't care, I don't care, I don't care if he comes 'round here
I I've got my beer in the sideboard here
Let mother sort it out if he comes round here
"I'll tell you something else an' all he's never got a job
He hangs around the betting shop the lazy little yob"
Mother says, "Calm down dad, he's alright"
"They're out there snogging in the passage all night"
I don't care, I don't care, I don't care if he comes 'round here
I I've got my beer in the sideboard here
Let mother sort it out if he comes round here
If he comes 'round here, I've got my beer
Let mother sort it out in the sideboard here
I've got my beer, let mother sort it out
I don't care if he comes 'round here
Biggy was a tramp with stubble on his chin
He looks like something that the cats brought in
Never got no money smokes all my fags
Got holes in his soles and his hanging in rags
On top of that he says I tell you why I got the hump
She had a skinny little belly, now it's sticking out the front
There's nothing seems to fit her, she's a running out of clothes
If he thinks he takin' liberties I'll punch him on the nose
But I don't care, I don't care, I don't care if he comes 'round here
I I've got my beer in the sideboard here
Let mother sort it out if he comes round here
If he comes 'round here, I've got my beer
Let mother sort it out in the sideboard here
I I've got my beer, let mother sort it out
I don't care if he comes 'round here
If he comes 'round here, I've I've got my beer (I don't care, I don't care)
Let mother sort it out in the sideboard here (I don't care if he comes 'round here)
I've I've got my beer, let mother sort it out 'cause oh, I don't care
If he comes 'round here, if he comes 'round here, I've I've got my beer
Let mother sort it out in the sideboard here
I've I've got my beer, let mother sort it out 'cause oh, I don't care if he comes 'round here
I don't care, I don't care, I don't care if he comes 'round here
I I've got my beer in the sideboard here
Let mother sort it out if he comes round here
If he comes 'round here, I've got my beer
Let mother sort it out in the sideboard here
I've got my beer, let mother sort it out
I don't care if he comes 'round here
I don't care, I don't care, I don't care if he comes 'round here
I I've got my beer in the sideboard here
Let mother sort it out if he comes round here
I don't care, I don't care, I don't care if he comes 'round here
I I've got my beer in the sideboard here
Let mother sort it out if he comes round here
If he comes 'round here, I've got my beer
Let mother sort it out in the sideboard here
I've got my beer, let mother sort it out
I don't care if he comes 'round here
I don't care, I don't care if he 'comes round here, if he comes 'round here