Embassy Lament (with Josh Groban)

Embassy Officials:
Oh, my dear how boring,
He's defecting
Just like all the others,
He's expecting
Us to be impressed
With what he's done here,
But he hasn't stopped
To think about the paperwork
His gesture causes--
We've an embassy to run here.

If these people can't strike
Blows for freedom
With a valid visa,
We don't need 'em.
If we seem offhand
Then please remember
This is nothing very special--
He's the fourth we've had
Since last November.
Who do these foreign
Chappies think they are?

Official #1:
And when he's safely in the West
He'll be the hero to discuss.
The media will lionize him,
Fame and fortune plus,

Officials:
No-one will recall it's
Thanks to us.

Official #1: [Spoken]
You have a wife?

Anatoly: [Spoken]
Yes.

Official #3: [Spoken]
You have two children?

Anatoly: [Spoken]
Yes.

Official #2: [Spoken]
And they're not coming with you?

Anatoly: [Spoken]
No, not for the moment.

Official #4: [Spoken]
You play chess. You are good at it?
[Official #3 whispers in #4's ear]
Oh. I hear you're world champion.

Anatoly: [Spoken]
Since yesterday.

Officials: [Spoken]
That's still good.
[Sung]
Have you an appointment
With the consul?
If you don't
We know what his
Response'll be,
He will not see you--
With respect it buggers up
His very taxing schedule,
Pushing peace and understanding.
Let us hope this won't affect it.

Far too many joker
Cross the border,
Not a single
Document in order.
Russia must be empty
Though we're all for
Basic human rights,
It makes you wonder,
What they built the Berlin wall for--
Who do these foreign
Chappies think they are?

And when you've
Filled in all the forms,
And been passed
Clear of all disease,
Debriefed, debugged,
Dedrugged, disarmed,
And disinfected, please
Don't forget the guys
Who cut your keys.