Wilderness

Chris Turner

Hi, I'm Chris
After 10 years working in corporate finance
I quit my job
Sold everything I owned
And moved here
To live in the wilderness
Of Alberta, Canada

I wanna get away from it all
Move out of the 'burbs
Wake up in the morning
To the bugs and the birds

Collect wood for a fire
And bathe in a stream
I be getting back to nature
I be living the dream

I can forage for nuts
I can live off the land
Meet a tiny squirrel
Let him eat from my hand

Learn the names of the plants
Learn the names of the trees
This one's Ian
And this one's Keith

Get away from it all
Live while I'm young
Ignore calls from my wife
And my infant son

Got a new life now
It's one I prefer
Living free in the wild
Just me and my squirrel

I struggle getting food
Finding berries and nuts
Feeling hungry got a rumble
In the middle of my gut

Call the squirrel over
Betray his trust
Kill him, cook him, eat him
And cry in disgust

I be living my life in the wilderness
Going off grid no need for stress
I know a lotta y'all would kill for this
Forget about the past, start life afresh

Quit the rat race, leave it all behind
Break free of your chains, don't be confined
Be wild, the way that man's designed
And live in a wilderness state of mind

I wanna get away from it all
Like a lumberjack
Just me and my
Hemingway paperback

Collect my own water
And shit in a hole
And weep as I do it
'Cause I feel so alone

Be depressed
Repress my feelings
Then chop down Keith
And chop down Ian

Feel even more lonely
'Cause my friends are gone
I miss them so I'm heading out
To make a new one

Get away from it all
Roam round in the the forest
In a few days come across
A wandering tourist

Build a fire in the middle
Of the great outdoors
Swap stories with the tourist
Make delicious s'mores

Make a new friend
Feel happy again
Barely even think about
Noah and Jen

My friend tries to leave
In the following struggle
I crush his skull with a rock
So I pick up my shovel

I be living my life in the wilderness
Going off grid no need for stress
I know a lotta y'all would kill for this
Forget about the past, start life afresh

Hiding in a cabin like Walter White
Burn my fingerprints off with lye
Wake up screaming 5 times a night
because I see my friend's faces when I close my eyes

I wanna get away from it all
And jump in a lake
So I gather up stones
For additional weight

Write a note in blood
On the back of a leaf
Apologising to my mates
Break down with grief

As I stand on the shore
Thinking no one cares
Out the corner of my eye
A friendly bear

Talk about the things
In common that we like to do
Turns out she's killed squirrels
And tourists too

Get away from it all
With my grizzly friend
Develop a bond
But you know how this ends...

I had sex with the bear
Then married the bear
Had a cub with the bear
Then I had an affair

With a different bear
So got divorced from the bear
Wanted custody of kids
So went to court with the bear

Now I'm paying huge amounts
Of child support to the bear
Moral of the story is
Don't have sex with bears

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