New Low

It took so long to bring this to the surface
I can’t pretend to feel at peace anymore
Removal from everything
This crusade of doubt I’ve waged
Will never replace the mistakes I’ve made

So every time you look my way, a forced smile is all you see
I’ll avoid conversation
Every time you ask me how I’ve been, I’ll say what you want to hear
Half-heartedly concerned and insincere

No longer plagued with the fear of dying young
A culture bred to turn away, I know I’m not the only one
Over and over I pray for release from disbelief and the urge to hide away

If this is all I can be, the wind between Your trees
Then carry me away
The new low’s in love with me

So every time you look my way, a forced smile is all you see
I’ll avoid conversation
Every time you ask me how I’ve been, I’ll say what you want to hear
Half-heartedly concerned and insincere