The Hottest Christmas Eve Ever

One, two, three, four

Christmas Eve, the first one, in the house we bought last spring
Your joke was it was just like me a "fixer-upper"
So we spent half the summer fixing every little thing
And the other half in our new bedroom under covers

And when the weather turned we fired up the big old furnace
In the basement, and we stood and watched it coughing

Frozen nights, that heater never did make too much heat
And this afternoon it died and went to furnace heaven

We midwesterners love talking 'bout the weather
This year's temperatures been breaking all the records
Our pipes are gonna freeze, but you're here kissing me
This is gonna be the hottest Christmas Eve ever

House is freezing cold and I'm on hold with AquaCity
But it looks like they can't make it out until tomorrow
And in the Christmas darkness, all the neighbors' lights are burning
Every chimney with a little smoke rising from it

And every morning on the news they talk about the climate
And its changes and what are we gonna do about it

Well we got blankets by the fire, the finest discount wine
And in your arms it's feeling just as warm as California

We midwesterners love talking 'bout the weather
This year's temperatures been breaking all the records
Our pipes are gonna freeze, but you're here kissing me
This is gonna be the hottest Christmas Eve ever

People everywhere love talking 'bout the weather
This year's temperatures been breaking all the records
Our pipes are gonna freeze, but you're here kissing me
This is gonna be the hottest Christmas Eve ever

This is gonna be the hottest Christmas Eve ever