Get To Know Your Neighbours

There was an old man from Illinois
Who had a thing for little boys
He liked to trap them in his car
Wouldn’t you like to know where they are?

There was a young maid from New York
Who had a visit from the stork
Then put the baby in the trash
Some decisions have to be rash

There was a man who lived in pain
Thought he was the king of Spain
Couldn’t understand why his countrymen
Fed him pills and shut him in

There once was a house
There once stood a house
With brothers and sister
Nephews and nieces
They were all blown to pieces
By a boy with a match
Who walked away without a scratch

(Instrumental)

There was a man whose house was robbed
He shot the guy who did the job
But there’s no justice, it appears
They put him away for twenty years

There was a girl who fell in love
With the biggest prick you could think of
He liked to tie her up and then
Pass her around to all his friends

And the missionary turned up dead
The natives misunderstood what he said
While trying to spread the word of God
He bought it from a firing squad

And the hobo in your doorway
Who stinks and gets in your way
Don’t think that he can be saved
The streets have turned his heart depraved
Don’t try to see the virtue
Assume he wants to hurt you

(lnstrumental)