Juanita

Well I'm finally gettin' used to the water
The way the tarantulas bite
Those federals didn't believe
I only came here to watch the bulls fight

Tell my mother, "I need a good lawyer"
Tell my father, "I'm getting a tan"
My sleepy siesta down south of the border
Is taking more time than I planned

Oh Juanita somebody betrayed me
They've given me ten years to life
Juanita I need you to save me
I promise I'll make you my wife

I got a big house in Milwaukee
With a color TV and a pool
A Naugahyde bar and a Cadillac car
Juanita they're waiting for you

Tie the burro up down in the courtyard
To keep the guard busy tonight
When you bring my dinner make sure the tortilla
Is filled with a gun or a knife

Hey Juanita somebody betrayed me
They've given me ten years to life
Juanita I need you to save me
I promise I'll make you my wife

Juanita you'll love Wisconsin
Wisconsin is gonna love you
Yes, all of Milwaukee speaks Spanish
Of course you're gonna wear American shoes

Lake Michigan tastes like tequila
Frijoles why they grow there on trees
You can say adios to the pigs and the goats
If you'll just do this one thing for me

But Juanita somebody betrayed me
They've given me ten years to life
Juanita I need you to save me
I promise I'll make you my wife

Juanita, I, I swear it was all a mistake
You see I was drowning out there in the ocean
And I saw this bale coming by man
So I grabbed it and I climbed up on top of it
And I found this stick and I rowed myself into shore

And when I got there
The border patrol was waiting for me
At the I didn't know what it was
I promise you if you'll just marry me
So I can become a citizen of Mexico

I'll take you to Milwaukee
You can meet all my friends
They got these big shiny motorcycles
And you can ride on the back of 'em with 'em

Really, Juanita would I lie to you?