Friend Like Me

Well, Ali Baba had them forty thieves
Scheherazade had a thousand tales
But, master, you in luck 'cause, up your sleeves
You got a brand of magic never fails
You got some power in your corner now
Some heavy ammunition in your camp
You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo, and how?
See, all you gotta do is rub that lamp, and I'll say
"Mister Aladdin, sir, what will your pleasure be?"
Let me take your order, jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me, ha-ha-ha!
Life is your restaurant and I'm your maitre d'
Come on, whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had a friend like me

Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service
You're the boss, the king, the shah!
Say what you wish, it's yours, true dish
How 'bout a little more baklava?
Have some of column A, try all of column B
I'm in the mood to help you, dude
You ain't never had a friend like me
Wah-ah-ah! Oh, my
Wah-ah-ah! No, no
Wah-ah-ah! My, my

Can your friends do this?
Can your friends do that?
Can your friends pull this
Out their little hat?
Can your friends go poof?
Hey, looky here, ha-ha!
Can your friends go "Abracadabra, let her rip!"
And then make the sucker disappear?

So, don't 'cha sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers
You got me bona fide, certified
You got a genie for your charge d'affaires
I got a powerful urge to help you out
So what's your wish? I really wanna know
You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt
Well, all you gotta do is rub like so, hey-oh

Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three
I'm on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend like me
Ya-ha-ha!
Wah-ha-ha!
You ain't never had a friend like me, ha!