Pushed Through

Negative thoughts out here tryna swarm me
People 'round me out here tryna form me
Ladder to success, I'm tryna climb it
Gettin' pulled down by myself inside, yeah
Say I got potential? I can't find it
Big baller game, that's where I'm strivin'
Writin' new songs, feelin' good and strapped in
Take a listen, and it's back to writin'
Deep breaths in 'cause I'm givin' this all
Ain't no use man, you just gonna fall
Ignore the voices, they tryna clip my wings
Just difficult to do, fearin' when failure sings
You miss all the shots you too scared to take
You don't even play ball, you just a fake
Leave me alone, just give me a break
Imma shove it to you, leave this living I make
I'm at the point now where I'm just gettin' started
Key's in the ignition, just gotta turn harder
All this resistance while I'm tryna run farther
Look 'round to see nobody as it gets darker
Feeling myself then it's back to depression
Quizzing myself, tryna play 20 questions
Hating myself, just letting it set in
Exhausting myself, demons tryna get in
But I pushed through
When I needed to
Just spread my wings and boy, oh boy, I flew
I pushed through
I had no choice to
Living life for others, obligated to
Pushed through
When I needed to
Just spread my wings and boy, oh boy, I flew
I pushed through
I had no choice to
Living life for others, obligated to
But this knot in my stomach just won't unwind
Can't come to the phone, I ain't got no time
I'm dealing with my traumas through songs and rhyme
Your issues don't equate to that of nearly half of mine
Traumas coming back when I see the signs
Getting sick to the stomach, just give me some time
Been hurt bad by people telling me they kind
I know it hurts your feels, I'm tryna fence around mine
Lock myself inside the closet, grabbing the pen
Writin' out the feels, just tryna vent
Gotta flip my stomach, get it right side up
Hard to do, afraid that imma end up messing it up
Open up Snap, all I see is this freak
A no good dummy looking back at me
Wondering what my girl sees in me
'Cause I'm a white trash, trailer raised, Chi-town OG
But I pushed through being down real bad
Making bad decisions often gets you sad
Upside down smile's all I'd ever have
But joy in life is just something that you got to grab
Rapping out my issues, that's what I do best
But there's haters out here putting me to the test
Laying there, scrolling, telling me to give up
Coming back with a new song, saying "Wussup?"
'Cause I pushed through
When I needed to
It's amazing what a man under stress can do
I pushed through
I had no choice to
Nobody 'round me picked me up, ain't got no crew
I pushed through
And I'm cuttin' the ropes loose
Ain't letting suicide have its precious round 2
I pushed through
I'm here to fight now
Don't believe me? Go ahead, stick around and find out
'Cause I ain't interested in blowing up for the fame
And I ain't interested in hopes of taking over the game
And I am not here
To put myself in chains
I'm here to exercise, I'm bulking up my lyrical gains
Devil tryna stop me, kick me off of the team
But I just take a deep breath and I let myself breathe
'Cause I am no stranger
To hate against me
Because me, myself, and I were my biggest bullies