In My Little Bottom Drawer

[Preamble]
For years and years I've been a lonely spinster on the shelf
I'm right fed up with spendin' all me money on meself
I'm all prepared for married life: its secrets I've been taught
And here's some little odds and ends I've been and gone and bought

One bridal gown, one eiderdown
I've been savin' 'em up since 1894
Got me ribbons and me bows
And there's these and thems and those
All packed up in me little bottom drawer

One baby's cot, one flower pot
Where I've planted a ramblin' rose bush for the door
Got a motto for the wall, it says Heaven Help Us All
All packed up in me little bottom drawer

[Bridge]
Got a pianner, under the staircase
And I'm teachin' meself to play "The Maiden's Prayer"

One toilet set, one bassinet
Now I'm waitin' for love to open up the door
Got a set of Priestley's works and a case of eggs from Turks
All packed up in me little bottom drawer

[Spoken]
I've answered every advert in the Matrimonial Times
I've bought me own confetti and a case of weddin' chimes
At night I count me treasures just to see they haven't strayed
I'm very patriotic, every one is British made

One chiffonier, one keg of beer
And some orange and purple lino for the floor
Got a new pyjama set, made of bright red flannelette
All packed up in me little bottom drawer

One Persian rug, one china jug
And some beautiful silverware from Woolworth's stores
With a book by Dr Fyfe, I'm out to be a perfect wife
All packed up in me little bottom drawer

[Bridge]
We'll have a bathroom, a beautiful bathroom
And a lovely bath where we can keep the coals

Horse shoe for luck, pail for the muck
And a President Hoover's cleaner for the floor
If the plans go all to pot, I can sell the bloomin' lot
All packed up in my little bottom drawer