Distant

[Intro]
Cadence

[Verse 1: Ham Sandwich]
I've been distant for a long time socially
Feeling like I ain’t where I'm supposed to be hopefully
Wishing that nobody gonna notice me openly
Talking bout my issues wasn't worth it
Keeping it inside’s a bad habit gotta curb it
But whether it be liquor, drugs, sex, money, worship
Everybody rather kill theyselves slow then face the current but currently?
I've got nowhere to run
Covid got me fucked up
Why it take a viral disease for me to believe my mind ain't at еase
I lock my feelings keep inside and then I thrеw out the key
And even though I know the problem I don't know what I need
See I know people taking bullets running out they homes living on the streets
Getting beaten and battered every other week
They mentally strong they're living is bleak
But they on they're feet
So who am I to complain when I have food, a bed, and working heat?
I think I'm jaded and I hate it
I feel like any problem that can be deflated by a couple dollars or a holler to a higher up or education isn't weighted
So why I feel like I got so much on my shoulders?
Try to open up get shot down and then I end up colder
But most the time I’m shooting myself
Cause I feel I’m being selfish when I talk bout myself so I
Never get the words out
And in the midst of my confusion comes the truth
My inability to cure my inabilities will cause an instability which will create what my psyche calls real problems
And if I can't solve these how do I solve those
And then comes the revelation
My lack of action caused my loved ones devastation
The true selfish act is acting like there’s nothing wrong
Because everyone around you has been strung along
By the fake smiles and the white lies saying that I'm alright
Tears that I've been fighting but I'm off flight
Living life great but I’m walking round in off white
Inner flame fading away I feel like All-Might
Anime and video games under the moonlight
Drowning in impressions of mentions on social media
Feel as though I'm slipping and forgetting what a feeling was
I've tried it all but the grey still remains
It's not pain It's the absence of happiness
And because it's not pain I dont think its valid
I allow it to consume me while the color eludes me
But this is not the person that I wanted to be
I wanna be free
I wanna see me look in the mirror can't find him
Lost inside my head either that or I'm blinded
My heart closed but if I let the .40 blow at least I can be open-minded

[Interlude]
Hey can you give me a call real quick I don't think I'm going to make it
Um I hope you're not waiting for me so um yeah uh talk to you later Bye!