Attitude Adjustment

Now I met an old friend in
The bar the other night
And he got a little drunk
And he wanted to fight
And he jumped up and challenged
Every man in the room
And just about the time he got the words out
An ol' boy jumped up and closed his mouth
And used his head for a mop
And his butt for a broom

It was an attitude adjustment
I guess it was his first time
An attitude adjustment
Now he understands just fine
He got bent out of shape
And he opened his mouth
And just one appointment straightened
Him right out it was an attitude adjustment
It'll work every time

I've got this big ol' brother-in law
And me and him just never did get along
'Cause he wants to make sure
I'm treating his sister right
He got drunk one night, started beating me up
And I went and got a tire
Tool out of my truck
And laid him out as cold as a block of ice

It was an attitude adjustment and
It will work every time
An attitude adjustment
I made him see the light
And he says I'm his kind of man
And he comes around with his hat in his hand
It was an attitude adjustment
I cured all his family pride

Now my girlfriend slapped me in the face
I said, "Darlin'
That was you're first mistake"
Then she went wild and her eyes turned red
She started breaking everything
And sceaming loud
And kickin' me and cussin' me out
And I gave her a little adjustment
On the top of the head

It was an attitude adjustment
Now she loves on me all the time
Just an attitude adjustment
She got a whole new frame of mind
She don't nag, I don't beg
We get along and like I said
Just an attitude adjustment, oh
Everythings just fine (Well, almost)

She called the cops to take me in
And I said, "You're never gonna do it
Friends"
And they just smiled and said, "Oh
Yes we will" now a stick to the head and
Some kicks to the shins
And several bites by Rin Tin Tin
And I couldn't wait to get into that jail

It was an attitude adjustment, oh
I went along peacefully
Attitude adjustment, they made me clearly see
'Cause my head is black and my legs are blue
And both kneecaps are bit clean through
It was an attitude adjustment
It made my whole life look brand new

Just an attitude adjustment
It made my whole life look brand new