Oh Beautiful Town

I grew up blind,
just like everyone's child,
in the warmth and the milk and deceit,
smothered by love and the chemical dust,
there was never enough to believe.

They chewed me up,
they spat me out,
of their system and onto their street,
and the rest of my life was spent to forget all the greatness that could never be.

Oh beautiful town,
I remember you blacker than the night,
the poised and the sick mouth, the bad taste and the neon lights,
oh beautiful town,
where are you now with your binge insecurities?
I shot you down beautiful town because you tear your children into pieces.

Absence twisted with fondness is the heart I couldn't forget,
programmed into great heart of family, lies and death,
too much expectation followed by hope and then hate and the rest,
and the rest of my life was a glorious test of my will and my selfish regret.

Oh beautiful town,
I remember you blacker than the night,
the poised and the sick mouth of the bad taste and the neon lights,
oh beautiful town,
where are you now with your binge insecurities?
I shot you down beautiful town because you tear your children into pieces.

In the floorboards under insolent feet,
I left the hopscotch to my parents retreat
with words of goodnight in back the back of my head, words of desperation on my tongue:
goodnight father, goodnight mother
I used to awake.