Ruins

With the boxes all packed
I switched off the light
Moved out my flat
And moved out my mind
Don’t know where I’m going
But I know who calls me mine
And it’s more than I’ve ever needed

Spent my 20s tied up in people’s advice
It emptied my bank and filled my head up with lies
I wouldn’t change much but less regrets would be nice
But what good is the past to me now… I don’t know either

So keep it moving
What’s a win when I’m already losing
There’s no need to be scared of the ruins
Cus if falling apart
Is into your arms
It’s all that I want

With the car loaded up
We drove south on the road
Needed some space
To open things that i’ve closed
I’ve learnt that holding on is mostly letting go, but
I still cling to the things that I keep

Spent my 20s trying to be what I do
Putting myself in the centre is a dizzying view
Sometimes nightmares are needed
For the dreams to come true, but
If you’re asking me, I don’t understand it either

So Keep it moving
What’s a win when I’m already losing
There’s no need to be scared of the ruins
If falling apart
Is into your arms
It’s all that I want

Fighting some foreign war
Frozen water on all fours
Longing for a notion of home that is
Fading like carpet in the sun
What have I won if I’ve lost my sense of me
My sense of meant to be
An old friend to me
Who now seems immature when we meet now
Beat down and swollen
The tremors can still be felt
I’m on fire I just keep down and roll it out
I am a city over run over taken
Broken windows
A field full of landmines
I'm as old as landlines
But my wounds are so youthful
And when I’m pushed to the floor
It’s the child inside me who falls
And I’m so tired of feeling
I’ve wandered in the dark
So many nights, that even in the light
Sometimes I close my eyes, force of habit

All I carried, falling out the shopping bags
But I know it’s in my shrinking I grow
Has it been a while? All these weaponised reflexes fastened to my side
Me & God are boats passing in the night

But I have come to tell you
There is joy in the morning
Peace in despair
Courage in the falling
Calm in the cares

So don’t be scared of the ruins
Keep it moving
If falling apart
Leads me into your arms
Then that’s all that I want