It's Actually the One I Use Myself

This is not an advert – nor is it a trick
I’m just trying to spread the word – and what I know is this
I’m not an actor – I just reached up for the shelf
And this is actually the one that I use myself

In tests it’s been proven to out perform other brands
There’s only one thing that will give you honest hands
I was a sinner-until I found the shelf
And this is actually the one that I use myself

There’s no need to trust me – but look into this face
I am a survivor of this human race
I was down – but now I’m up on the roof
And it’s the one I use myself – it’s called the truth

It’s there when you need it - you don’t have to feed it
You don’t have to clean it - you just have to mean it – always

Eight out of ten cats said they preferred it
And they had no reason to lie
It comes with a no-questions money-back guarantee
If you’re not fully satisfied
And if for whatever reason – it catches fire in your hand
Just return the unused portion

Truth cleans harder and deeper and longer and won’t leave embarrassing stains
It cuts right through to the heart of the matter and it doesn’t block up the drains
It un-tangles and cleanses - it un-fogs your lenses – makes the old better than new
And it’s the one I use myself - I offer to you

I wasn’t always this way – I messed with inferior brands
I broke up everything before I got honest hands
I was a blind man – until I found the shelf
Now this is actually the one that I use myself

It won’t make you tall or hung like a horse
It could make you bitter and filled with remorse - of course
It won’t whiten your teeth , tone up your thighs
Tighten your tush - but it might make you wise

So friends let me recommend this, won’t you hear my song
Before this special offer ends – before we’re moved along?
I was a liar – but now I’m the proof
It’s the one I use myself - it’s called the truth
It’s the one I use myself - it’s called the truth
It’s the one I use myself - it’s called the truth