When I’m Gone

[Verse 1: Jon Connor]
If I don't make it to where I was tryin' to lead you
Just know I did it for one reason that was for the people
I'm from a city where we seldom ever got our moment
That's why no matter how hard the rode was I kept on goin'
Always kept high spirits even when I was at my lowest
I could break down at any second but I never showed it
I'm doin' interviews smilin' so you would never know it
Rebuild myself everytime I felt like my spirit's broken
My cousin Jack had me goin' cuz he believed in me
I never knew that at 16 he'd be leavin' me
Still it don't make sense, I often ask why The Creator take him
Last conversation we had I told him that I would make it
My cousin's death would drive me inside it became my fire
I rather die tryin' then in his eyes become a liar
So to the haters they say they hope I would quit with rap
That'll never happen unless you can bring my cousin back

[Hook x2: Jon Connor]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, so baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back

[Verse 2: Jon Connor]
What you see is rapper, but yet and still I'm a person
They treat me like I'm in-human so I put my hurt in these verses
I'm pursuin' my passion so I just stay to myself
So if I fail to succeed ain't no one to blame but myself
The greed of humans is a motherfuckin' shame in itself
I pay homage, get sued, cuz people just want fame for they self
I'm tryin' to change the world, they tryin' to get some change for they self
But hate drives me so I'd like tell 'em thanks for the help
I've never glorified the killin' that goes on where I'm from
This shit hurt, I still got scars from dyin' so young
Y'all want me to spit hate like I'm happy you ride with that gun
When I done see so many niggas die you fuckin' sound dumb
Now let me ask a question homie, what make you a real nigga?
Cuz ya boy started some shit and you went and got killed with him?
Y'all can keep it, fuck ya street cred cuz I don't need it
Cuz y'all don't appreciate life until you lyin' there bleedin' so uh

[Hook x2: Jon Connor

[Verse 3: Jon Connor]
They envy my position, not knowin' the cost
These magazines ain't no consolation for all the people I lost
See I'm in double XL, but James ain't here to read it
Now I'm on MTV News and my cousin ain't here to see it
Switch positions with me, I trade positions with you
Love what I do but this shit done turned to a catch 22
Cuz if I quit it still don't mean that all my hurtin'll stop
I keep goin' I'm driftin' further from the people I got
I'm in this game and I can't lose, I got my back on the wall
Studio - my phone ringin' I can't answer the call
I be needin' someone to listen, stressed and I need to talk
Then when they call I can't pick up cuz I'm recordin' this song
Ain't it ironic? Go psychotic, this shit ain't what it seem
Reach out for help and all they say is "Boy you livin' ya dream"
But they don't prepare you for the repercussions takin' this path
I'm on a plane every week, still can't escape from my past
And I ain't never weak, I ain't allowed to be
When I envision my Granny sayin' she proud of me
You hear my hunger them thoughts is what bring that out of me
And I hear James in my ear wake me up out my sleep
When I awake it's reality that they still gone
The people's rapper cuz y'all the reason I'm still goin'
When y'all reach out and show love and tell me I kill songs
I feel the spirit of my lost ones suddenly I feel strong
Suddenly I feel like I remember the reason
My words is touchin' somebody now, who really need it?
I spit my life in every line I hope I'm there for somebody
So I'mma spit this shit until there ain't no air in my body

[Hook x2: Jon Connor]