Sick of Myself

What's torment if you’re born into it?
So you've never known different?
Forced into it as you poured into it
All of your tears and seared your skin to it
With Scorn, I'll become more intimate
Forever ’cause I can't short infinite
I am awake, but I'm tied to my fate
No escape when the hope has
No more give to it
Am I of a primordial origin
Or did somebody conjure a corpse again?
How organic the horrors, abhorrent
A prison of bone, and my body's a form of it
As I'm foraging for any nourishing
Sources of hope, which surely I'm forgin'
The judge and the jury
I'm cеrtainly more than
Court is in session and I’m getting sworn in
I can fashion a wеapon of organs
Sickening, twisted, threaded with thorns
And although I’ve fallen
I've found my reform
Harvest a halo, harness some horns
Getting harder to follow my heart
With the modular structure fallin’ apart
To be swallowed whole, every soul retaken
Symbiotic, all forsaken

I'm another abandoned creation
You think you're living in hell? Listen
I've been there myself
I’ve been bent over backwards, I'm breakin'
Imprisoned within my cells
I'm gettin' sick of myself
I did not give my all, it was taken
Then I was spit outta hell
I wear the stigmata well
I've been scorned, and I'm scared to awakin'
Because I sicken myself
So fuckin' sick of myself

My genesis, directionless
No intended cosmic purpose
In the end, can I make any sense of it
Maybe the cost of my blood was worth it?
Cursed with the burden to become conscious
A labyrinth of lies, I'm lost in
Caution, a question to God is toxic
Sorry, if you got one, drop it
Call it survival, swallow your pride
Solving a puzzle of body and mind
As I'm untyin' the knot in my spine
All these entrails are probably mine
To falter or fail, is not by design
But why am I finding it all intertwined?
These are the seeds of a garden divine
But the fruit isn't ripe
If it's rotten inside depravity and despair
Sense of gravity's not even there
Too many questions up in the air
Finding my strength while losing my hair
Got a code in my DNA
Even though I don't know it, I keep it safe
But that won't matter if it's all connected
Eyes wide open, no perspective

If faith made us able to stand
Logic knocked me right down to my knees
'Cause that faith hides the face of a sham
And God is not talking to me
I was one of his sheep
But lying under the wool
A wolf was hiding his teeth, I am abominable
Praytell, if he's walkin' with you
Why the hell ain't he talkin' to me?
Now how can I start to believe?

I'm another abandoned creation
You think you're living in hell? Listen
I've been there myself
I've been bent over backwards, I'm breakin'
Imprisoned within my cells
I'm gettin' sick of myself
I did not give my all, it was taken
Then I was spit outta hell
I wear the stigmata well
I've been scorned, and I'm scared to awakin'
Because I sicken myself
So fuckin' sick of myself