Misery

It's too hard for me
to bear this heartbreaking pain alone.
I cannot fall asleep today
and I am deep in thought.
Dying slowly.
Inside of my fuckin mind.
I lost myself.
Dying slowly.
Inside of my mind.
I cannot control.
I can't forgive myself even if
I spend every day blaming myself.
I can't forgive myself even if I
start to stab my wrist and bleed.
Darkness swallows me.
And I'm alone again.
I trying to lock me up again.
I struggled to catch the time, but
I'm always left alone and only hurt.
Im lying on the
bed after taking medicine.
Close my eyes and pray to God.
But every morning when I open
my eyes, I realize there's no God.