Phantom Pains

You may not see it this way
But you may thank me someday

I can't stand to play the victim
And you would never want to be a burden

I tried to carry the weight for you, for us
I felt the depths welcome my feet
I saw the light narrowing

There were times
When the sun shone so bright
Hiding the shadows behind you
And there were times they engulfed me
They consumed me
I suffocate

I can't relate to the decisions you make
The same misfortunes every time

I can't untangle every chain
You wrap around your neck
And I can't live weighted down
With the misery you bring upon yourself

Nights on the front step
Sharing aspirations
Before the waves crashed in
Pulling us under

Push away to save myself
I reach for the light
I'm letting go
I'm surfacing

Telling myself that I did the right thing
And time only knows

I hope you find the strength
To pull yourself up
I hope you find peace of mind