Baldheaded End of a Broom

Love is such a very funny thing
Catches the young and old
Just like a plate of boardinghouse hash
Never a man's been sold

Makes you feel like a freshwater eel
Causes your head to swell
You'll lose your mind, but love is blind
And it empties your pockets as well

Boys, keep away from the girls, I say
And give them lots of room
You'll find when you're wed
That they'll bang you till you're dead
With the bald-headed end of a broom

If married folks have lots of cash
They'll find that their love is strong
But those who have to feed on hash
Their love don't last too long

With a wife and seventeen half-starved kids
You'll find that it's no fun
When the butcher comes around to collect his bill
With a dog and a double barreled gun

Boys, keep away from the girls, I say
And give them lots of room
You'll find when you're wed
That they'll bang you till you're dead
With the bald-headed end of a broom

Young fellas, all take my advice
Don't be in a hurry to wed
You'll be in clover till the honeymoon's over
And then you'll think you're dead

With a cross-eyed baby on each knee
And a wife with plaster on her nose
You'll find out that it's no fun
Just a-wearin' them second-hand clothes

Boys, keep away from the girls, I say
And give them lots of room
You'll find when you're wed
That they'll bang you till you're dead
With the bald-headed end of a broom