Autophobia
As far as history agrees, I ain't a person
So here's my letter
Dear Willie Lynch I can't reverse it
And worth is when it get to
Me indeed to make a purchase
That's why my social's what it is and
What my date of birth is
People telling people find yourself
And they been searching
Blind go to blind and seek for
Sight and paid for service
And work to stay above water
But this ain't the surface
That's what I bought that Fo' for and
Get on some Dave and Purp shit
I've been smoking purp and hang with
Perps that came to merk shit
They went from hanging us on trees to courts
We ain't alerted
To make it out you gotta sell your
Soul or slang your work kid
Man they've been sellin niggas way
Before we made our verses
You wonder why I'm cutting up
So what I ain't a surgeon
My brain been sick as fuck I
Bet I'm stuck to dating nurses
I'll tell a critic suck a dick
Until it makes the thirst quench
While you was popping percs man I
Was out here taking purses
But that's what happens when you
Lose yourself like Shady, Certain
And now they force you meds don't
Matter if you ain't allergic
And discharge you early so you
Break and can't refurbish
And make you stay with someone til'
They say you make em' nervous
Petition you then distribute your cash
You can't be workin'
Position you for ridicule you're mad
And hate the churches
Suicidal tendencies that get to you
There ain't a purpose
This is a Cold War dividing you
You'd think I came from Berlin perfect!
Revelations got my brain just burstin'
I was right there with Eve and yelling
"Thank you Serpent!"
Because I lust for knowledge and a queen
I ain't deserving
And Satan lurks the internet so
Watch what page you surfing
To rid your curse like
It's derogatory language lurking
I need a pat on the back my nigga like
Babies burpin'
My soul was separated at birth
Katie Leclerc shit
I do it for the love I take self hate
And convert it and tell em'
Ignoring self and bliss, now euphoria
In the mirror like I almost didn't notice ya
But lately I've been fearing
I've been loathing
But where I'm from we call that autophobia
Tried to drop jewels on my homies
Til' they were in steel
But all they want is diamonds on
They pendant is that shit real
Then I look in the mirror for a minute
Then I sit still and realize this is exactly
How I'ma get killed
My self love made me get on
So what's the big deal
Everybody treating me like I just
Signed a big deal
It's like they don't want me to
Grow like I'm a kid still
So when I pass away I'll try to
Leave more than a big wheel
So I grip steel and a paranoid
Banana clips will get peeled
Anxiety can't sit still
Mr hank, get it, shit's real
My senders gone I'm sick still
Don't say shit my lips sealed
I'm too broke to fix meals my
Son wants a kids meal
Won't flip out, my bitch will
A cold world, no windshield
I crashed my whip the other day
Almost flew through the windshield
I spit ill and got preyed on
They never did kneel
And now I'm taking flicks
On the net, touring, Forget chill
Man they gonna fuck around and sign
My ass for ten mill
And I'ma blow it all on drugs
I love how Sid feels and if not record execs
Are getting windmilled
The kid still lives as vicious
As what Sid feels i never had self love to
Know how this shit feels
I hope I get married nah really
I hope my chick will
Because I'm a piece of shit and she know
Prolly' is pissed still
And one day she'll kill me and
Get sent up to Litchfield
Like adios amigos, it's been real
This is not music nigga it's film
This career ain't working out but
There's a big field
I'm about to walk through the traffic
And hope the bitch yield
This pen is my sword and the paper is shield
And til' the pickle suit I
Never was a big deal
I love this rap shit but
Sometimes wanna quit still
And I will never sell out, but this disc will
And tell em
Ignoring self and bliss, now euphoria
In the mirror like I almost didn't notice ya
But lately I've been fearing
I've been loathing
But where I'm from we call that autophobia