Nine Wishes

Today I shall venture forth into the world and have a bilateral adventure
I will split into two pieces
Half of me will walk for many miles
The other half shall remain quite still
Then both parts of me shall explode
Not simultaneously, but almost
Then a moose will come into my home driving a tank
Then an angel will fall from the sky and grant me three wishes
I will wish for a car, and a boat and a house
I will get them, but I will be sad because I should've wished for a bigger car and a bigger boat and a bigger house
Then I'll realize that I should've wished for world peace, plenty of money for everyone, and no more psychological problems
You live and learn