Nurture

And on my fourth birthday
Looking like a photograph
We would all forget about
And only discover later on
With all the newspapers
Piled up like epitaphs
For the man you never knew
But hold onto like a silver swan
And in the forest
That I created in my head
I was a warrior
At home in the wild
My bones were big and strong
They'd never get me like they did in real life
If I could just get bigger and better
Could you stay a little longer please?
Could you stay a little longer please?

And in the lamplight
Swaddled like a baby tight
I read a hundred pages
To get lost each night
I made a skin out of the Brothers Grimm
Made a magic box to hide the shouting in
Coz you were busy
Biting at each other's heels
In an angry fog that never seemed to clear
But it's ok
Coz I did pretty well anyway
And you're proud
But could you stay a little longer please?
Could you stay a little longer please?

And now I'm fifteen
Falling on my skinny knees
Telling her I'm sorry please
You know I love you more than anyone
But I must've got the message wrong
Coz the more I tried the more I came undone
And she was clever
Knew just how to build you up
And then chip away till you went wrong
Could you stay a little longer please?
Could you stay a little longer please?

And then at 23
I asked someone to follow me
Into a cacophony
Of all of all of the things I'd fled
And he was ready
Gave me every part of him
But my ribs were breaking with the weight of it
And so I left
So well rehearsed at leaving beds by then
And now I'm all grown
Moving to a new home
With the man my heart holds
Dearer than anyone
And I'm a mess
So sure I'm gonna love him less with every step
Coz that's all that I've come to expect
But as the months pass
I'm surprised to feel my heart
Getting bigger
And better
At last