Let Me Eat Your Shorts

I like that Victoria's Secret, though
I like that joint oh, i tell you
What, I'm like a retard at the
Chuck E cheese up there boy
I like that place i was up
There at Victoria's Secret a while
Back i was up there sniffing around
Couple hours and, uh yeah
I was sniffing around up there
Looking for some ideas for
Mother's Day up there
And, uh what? Mom's dress
Sexy, alright? And, uh
They got the crotchless panties in there you
Ever the see the crotchless
Britches? Y'all women
Wear 'em britches with a hole
In the crotch there 24 bucks for
One pair! I'm like, 'Dadgum
24 bucks i got a whole drawer full of
Them at the house back there! Damn
(laughs) I bet I'm sitting on 3- 400
Dollars worth of crotchless
Britches!' That's right

There was this girl
Put 'em on for my birthday one time i
Come home, she's like, 'Hey, you want
Some of that?' I'm like
'No! Look what they did to your
Undershorts! What in the world? What
In the world? That'd take the
Stripes of a raccoon
Right there now! What in the world! Look like
A good place for one
Of them vanill-er stick-ups
Right there or something, you
Know?' yeah, Git-R-Done, that's right!

Then they got the underbritches you
Eat who in the world
Thinks of all that garbage?
Somebody sitting at home, 'What do
You wanna do tonight?' 'Let me
Eat your shorts! Give me
A glass of milk i'm gonna
Down them right here
I tell you ain't nothing better than
A Yoo hoo and some
Underbritches before we go to bed
At night' Eating britches

I was with this big girl one
Time she always wore stuff
Like that that was like a
Buffet on her hind end, i tell you what
I ate half of it
I got dizzy and sweaty and thought I was
Gonna pass out lot of people get
Herpes, she give me diabetes
That girl! Damn

I bought this girl a while back i
Bought her some strawberry underbritches she
Likes stuff like that i bought her
Five pairs of the strawberry
Panties and, uh
I bought five pairs 'cause I
Always end up eating
A couple pairs on the way
Down to her house there, you know they
(laughs) They're pretty good
Now! (laughs) Thank God they
Don't make 'em in biscuit's and gravy, i
Tell you what now
Dadgum! I'll be getting fat
Just on underpanties! Doctor call me up
'You gained 10 pounds last week' 'I
Ate a lot of crotch last week
I gotta tell ya!' Need to make
Some fat-free underbritches i'd have come
Up with some SnackWell panties, that's
What they need! 'Honey
I'm on a diet put on some Fruit Roll-Ups
Would you? I'm getting fat over here'
(laughs)