Lord, I Apologize

What the hell is this? Russia?

If you're looking for a feller
Wanting to Git-R-Done
Likes NASCAR, beer and fishing
And going out shooting guns
I ain't no latte-drinking tree hugger
On that, you can rely
I'm a bonafide American
I'm Larry the Cable Guy

I was with this girl the other day that put
On some of them crotchless
Underbritches you know
The ones that got the holes
In the crotch? She sat on the
Couch for me all sexy
And she says, 'Larry! You want
Some of this?' I said
'Heck no! Look like it did
To your undershorts! That
Looks like a good place for a stickup

Larry, Larry, Larry hit your knees

Lord, I apologize

If you're looking for a feller
Wanting to Git-R-Done
Likes mudding in a mud hole for a day of fun
I ain't no commie rider
On that, you can rely
I'm a bonafide American
I'm Larry the Cable Guy

When I was a kid
My dad caught me calling one of
Them 900 talk-dirty phone sex numbers
He says, 'Larry
Wait 'til I tell your mother
What you've been doing!' I said, 'Hold on
Daddy! I'll let you talk to her!'
(laughs) Lord, I apologize!

Let's hear some picking!

Hey, hey! Tremonti!
Hey, this ain't Shea Stadium! Take two

I was up the other night and I come home
Fell asleep i dreamt I drunk the world's
Largest margarita then, when I
Woke up this morning
There was salt on the toilet lid ugh
Thank God I didn't eat the worm in there

Larry, you're not right, man

I know, Mark lord, I apologize

If you're looking for a feller
Wanting to Git-R-Done
A tobacco-spitting redneck
Then let me tell you, son
My name is Larry the Cable Guy
On my flagpole, Dixie flies
And if that right there offends you
Then Lord, I apologize lord, I apologize

Hey, mister rockstar let me
Do some country picking
Alright take it away, Larry
You need to put some new strings on
This these is all worn out
Larry, man i thought you could play
Man you're freaking horrible check this out

Tell me that didn't get you horny
Git-R-Done