Poor Beginnings

Huh, huh
Travelling back into my life
It might give you a fright of how I rolled the dice
Killed my old life of academia, became an artist overnight
“What was that like?”
The scariest thing I’ve ever done
Bullet to my brain and I was the one holding the gun
I begun with simple lessons, yes, I’m self-taught
Repetition is the medicine, skills can’t be bought
Floor, pedal to the floor, no days off I want more
Than the petty offerings displayed in the lecture halls
I was born to soar, a simple universal law
Of course, my beginnings were poor
But it didn’t put me off I said “no more”
What I want is mine so imma go get what’s yours
Cos you’re not moving, stuck in stall
Hands in your pockets staring at the glass wall, come on

You may wonder, what’s the key to my success?
How’d I get here and, huh, what is next?
I ask myself these questions as I lay in my bed
Around, around, around they suffocate my head
To start frank becoming successful is painful
Everyday working how is this sustainable?
It isn’t but I push through the days with no resources
Resort to leaning back on my weapons, my strength sources
“Hi, I’m Lefturn and I am an addict”
Improvement is my poison, as close to perfect
As possible, number one on my wish list
Night after night crying to sleep that’s how much I want this
Only thing I think, live and breathe is music
Not only toxic to me but my relationships
Caution happiness clears quickly, too metabolic
No time off work, everyday even when I had no voice
Scream noise came out, in my head no other choice
“I lost a friend”, “I’m so Cold” and “Closure”, where birthed this way
Listen back you can hear my voice and body break
Woke up the next day, was spitting blood
I tore my body apart to fill other with love
What’s the use if I abuse myself for a muse
If I lose pass me the noose
But I won’t and this I will prove
I will prove
Yeah
Once again

I had a dream, I pursued my dream
Is this what it feels like to succeed?
Is love what it seems?
Will this break me at my seams?
Thank you, I love you