Country Music Lover

Oh, I really thought that I had learned to love her
I even took her home to meet my mother
That's why it breaks my heart to discover
That she ain't a country music lover

Well, I already knew that we disagreed on politics and religion
And it didn't really bother me too much
When I found out she didn't like to go fishin'
The trouble all started with them phonograph records I bought her
Like she thought Kitty Wells was a place a cat goes to get water

Oh, I really thought that I had learned to love her
I even took her home to meet my mother
That's why it breaks my heart to discover
That she ain't a country music lover

But friends, it didn't take me long to realize
That this ol' girl was in a fog
Why she even thought that Ferlin Husky was some kind of Eskimo dog
She thought The Texas Troubadours were President Johnson's staff
She even thought that Ernest Tubb was a sincere place to take a bath

Oh, I really thought that I had learned to love her
I even took her home to meet my mother
That's why it breaks my heart to discover
That she ain't a country music lover

Just to think that she'd been to college and travelled around the world
Then the nerve to ask me if Bobby Bare was a striptease girl
But what really got my goat and made me explode
Would you believe that she thought Johnny Cash
Was money you'd find in a commode?

Oh, I really thought that I had learned to love her
I even took her home to meet my mother
That's why it breaks my heart to discover
That she ain't a country music lover

Man, talk about being dense, squirrely ain't the word
Why, she even thinks that Pete Drake is a duck
Western Union is a cowboy's underwear
I don't know what else