Gettin’ Laid Is Hard

I'm out tonight
Gonna find some girls
I wanna make it right
And try everyone in my sight

I try with a girl, she slaps my face
I try with a gal, I'm a disgrace
I try with a chick, she won't give me head
I try with a lass, she wants me dead

Gettin' laid is hard, if you are fat
It's always the same, so fucking lame
I sure know, I will die alone
Gettin' laid is hard, if you are fat

I tried again
Everything in vain
No girl wants to be with me
When they see me, they flee

I try with a cutie, she kicks my balls
I try with a dame, she wants alone
I try with a wench, she's all defensive
I try with a slut, she's way too expensive

But then I saw, walking to me
Beautiful as can be, the woman of my dreams
She want's to go out, she's all alone
Live to believe, I'll buy her some drinks

She grabbed the drink, she's running away
Oh, fuck, not again
I though I was gonna spank that butt
But I got played by a slut

Gettin' laid is hard, if you are fat
It's always the same, so fucking lame
I sure know, I will die alone
Gettin' laid is hard, if you are fat