No News [2023 Version]

Hey

She said, "It's just a woman thing"
And pulled out of the drive
I said not to worry
I'm and understanding guy
I've heard that when you love someone
You gotta let them go
She hollered, "When I find myself
You'll be the first to know"
Ooh hoo, no news

I learned to do the laundry
Feed the cat and clean the house
I promised to be patient
While she worked her problems out
When she packed her bags
Her destination was unclear
But I sensed that her intentions
Were honest and sincere
Ooh hoo, no news

She could telephone, tell a friend
Tell a lie about where she's been (no news)
Send a pigeon, send a fax
Write it on a postal pack (no news)
Send a signal up in smoke
Tap it out in Morse code
I'd prefer a bad excuse
To no news

Oh, no news

Her mama's been a little vague
As to her whereabouts
Her sister says, "I'm certain
Your romance is headed south"
I don't have a single doubt
That she's still in love
My level of anxiety
Is just a product of
Ooh hoo, no news

She could telephone, tell a friend
Tell a lie about where she's been (no news)
Send a pigeon, send a fax
Write it on a postal pack (no news)
Send a signal up in smoke
Tap it out in morse code
I'd prefer a bad excuse

She missed her bus, missed her plane
Surely, this can be explained (no news)
Lost her car at the mall
Got locked in a bathroom stall (no news)
Playing guitar with the band
On the road with Pearl Jam (no news)
Buried with the Grateful Dead
Came back as a parrot head (no news)
Got derailed, got de-iced
Offered as a sacrifice (no news)
Fbi, CIA, if they've seen her
They ain't saying
No news
Still no news, oh oh oh

I said, (no) no, (no) no, (no) no, no
No news