Never

It's been awhile, since I lay awake
Upright in bed, just thinking of ways
That I could've been much better
Only if I would've stayed

Gripping the sheets, thinking of you
What could've been? my knuckles turn blue
I know I could've done it better
Guess I always sorta knew

Maybe I'm not cut out for loving you
Oh but how I wanted to, keep true to my word
Maybe it's just not who I'm meant to be, in love happily, with someone who makes me hurt
And I'm sorry, I'll never be like her

My friends all said, that I couldn't be
Truly in love, but I couldn't see
The red flags soaring through the air
I close my eyes and plant my feet

Maybe I'm not cut out for loving you
Oh but how I wanted to, keep true to my word
Maybe it's just not who I'm meant to be; in love happily, with someone who makes me hurt
And I'm sorry, I'll never be like

Someone who just sits in silence, unhappy, oh so quiet
I used to be someone who didn't think I could be loved entirely
But I've been reignited
And I don't wanna fight it
I wanna be someone who lets themselves exist in peace

Maybe I'm not cut out for loving you
Oh but how I wanted to, keep true to my word
Maybe it's just not who I'm meant to be, in love happily, with someone who makes me hurt
I'm sorry, I'll never be that girl