Disaster

Set up the mics, turn up the volume
Everybody present
Say "here" when I call you: Schaffer?

Yep

Beef?

Hello

Bought three movie tickets, got the front row
Act I

Our plucky hero's home town:
Middle Americana, not a problem to be found
A single dad of one son with
A dog just trying his best to make ends meet
As a disaster scientist
One day he stumbles upon
Some horrifying evidence our hero decides
"I must inform the president"

"Even though you seem to know
Exactly what you talk about
I don't think at this point in the plot
I am going to hear you out"
But Washington's in fallout
Can't return to my home
There's flash floods
Earthquakes i pick up the red phone
"You get this ragtag team made
Of washed out marines and Dr jennie Marie
She studies weather extremes"

It's a disaster, it's a disaster
Whenever you've got three nerd rappers
It's a disaster, it's a disaster
Whenever you've got three nerd rappers
It's a disaster, it's a disaster
Whenever you've got three nerd rappers
It's a disaster

Act I I molten lava is chasing them around
Big blue bolts of lightning
Spring up from underground
But our hero and his team have
Some hope for a cure:

"If we can just get this crew
Into the center of the earth
We can install a nuclear
Device then detonate it
My findings indicate that this
Will stave off devastation"

"I might have given in to my pride
(that is my sin)
But take this check and shake my hand
'cause you always trust a Whitesican"

"Sir, you won't regret it
Launch your finest satellite
Arm it with a laser canon
Aimed upon the blast site
To activate the nuke but the
Clock is counting down
We need to act fast as
Our time is running out"

Meanwhile: hurricanes, tidal waves, floods
Sun flares cause it to seem to rain blood

The President just got crushed by an asteroid

And the plucky hero's son?

"Run faster, boy!"

It's a disaster, it's a disaster
Whenever you've got three nerd rappers
It's a disaster, it's a disaster
Whenever you've got three nerd rappers
It's a disaster, it's a disaster
Whenever you've got three nerd rappers
It's a disaster

Last Act son makes it, dog doesn't
Odds may be stacked against the
Team they discuss it

A last ditch effort hangs heavy
On our hero's mind:
"Blowing up the planet is the
Only hope for humankind"
And to his leading lady
"There is something I must say"

"Hey, you and me can wait
I want to have another yesterday
Sources say the Kremlin can
Take us into orbit go to space
Fix the lasers and the earth:
We can restore it"

"That's it! A crazy plan
But we have to try
The time is nigh, gather up supplies
We must survive!"

They head out for Russia in a little rowboat
Get menaced by glaciers
Almost bite it but don't
At the last moment a decision to be made:
There's the love or the boy
Only one can get saved

If he thinks too long

Whole globe is in peril

If you don't shed a tear at the end

Your heart's sterile

It's a disaster, it's a disaster
Whenever you've got three nerd rappers
It's a disaster, it's a disaster
Whenever you've got three nerd rappers

It's a disaster, it's a disaster
Whenever you've got three nerd rappers
It's a disaster
It's a disaster, it's a disaster
Whenever you've got three nerd rappers
It's a disaster, it's a disaster
Whenever you've got three nerd rappers
It's a disaster, it's a disaster
It's a disaster it's a disaster
Oh no