Philip My Dear

[Verse 1]
Phillip, my dear
Last night I thought was you in here
Where did you go?
Working for good old England
Missing out all the action, my dear, do you know
There was a man in my bedroom
Wearing your shoe
Trying on the royal costume
Dipping in the royal perfume
I telling you true
There was a man in my bedroom
Anxious for a rendezvous
And I thought it was you

[Chorus]
He big just like you but younger
He thick just like you but stronger
He lingay like you but harder
He laylay like you but badder
A man in my bedroom
He came on the bed, doudou, and I took him for you

[Verse 2]
The palacе guards
Were playing hopscotch in the yard
Abandon thе throne
Being with this perfect stranger
The jewel was in danger
For I was alone
With a man in my bedroom loaded with brew
Yes, this malodorous urchin
On top of my bed was perching
Like a cockatoo
A man in my bedroom
Sorry, dear, I misconstrued when I took him for you

[Chorus]
He big just like you but younger
He thick just like you but stronger
He lingay like you but harder
He laylay like you but badder
A man in my bedroom
He came on the bed, doudou, and I took him for you

[Verse 3]
In Buckingham
No one respond to the alarm
So this plunderer
Displayed inside my boudoir
A tool made for agriculture
I stood there in awe
With a man in my bedroom, seven feet or more
He told me, "Come hither and foil"
And all my good linen he soil
He was so obscene!
There was a man in my bedroom, so nasty and mean
Singing to me, "God go save the queen!"

[Chorus]
He big just like you but younger
He thick just like you but stronger
He lingay like you but harder
He laylay like you but badder
A man in my bedroom
He came on the bed, doudou, and I took him for you

[Verse 4]
Evidently
I've suffered great indignity
From this commoner
Instead of being free in London
He should be put in a dungeon
Under the Tower
There was a man in my bedroom enjoying the view
This vicious, immoral scoundrel
Son of a common mongrel, scared me through and through
There was a man in my bedroom
Your input was overdue and I thought it was you

[Chorus]
He big just like you but younger
He thick just like you but stronger
He lingay like you but harder
He laylay like you but badder
There was a man in my bedroom
He came on the bed, doudou, and I took him for you