Bell Chimes

I'm sick of bell chimes, and I'm sick of these rhymes
Writin' words so absurd they're not, even really mine
Though they're borrowed, not stolen
Though I don't really own em'
Sheeran taught me well. Part of me still owes him
Cramped in my room trynna' go the extra mile
Write a metaphor for love, try to make someone smile
But I'll explode when I'm done, I'm bigger than the sun
This crowd is deafening, and I'm the only one
So play a minor chord, remember when I was a whore
Fucked up and over girls, like it was a chore
Now that I know my mistake, in my room alone I bake
Searching for genuine, but this persona is fake
I'm not really euriditic, what I know is esoteric
I can't heal anything but I call myself a cleric
I'll play on a fender, as I go out to a bender
To the bar with my mates, as i try not to offend her
"Her" being my mind, in the meaning that I find
In this last sip of jack I become less than kind
So I pick up a bar stool, trynna' fight friends from high school
Swinging around the room, where did it all go so wrong?

I've written dozens before, I'm writin' hundreds more
I'm searching for meaning, but I don't know what for
I write words to express, all these feelings when I stress
When post-traumatic strikes, I'm way more than depressed
Maybe this is my answer. It's definitely my solace
Don't try to get close, I promise that I'll wall this
Off and I scoff, though I can’t help but cough
From this ash in my lungs that makes me feel tough
I'm a musician with a vex, cursed a witch and got hexed
Shook hands with death, and he told me I'm next
But last time i checked, I'm still so wrecked
And I'm broken, still broken
My heart's a million pieces held together with tape
And I consider myself a superhero with no cape
'Cuz I endured the Devil's inferno
Froze the devil got burned (Oh)
I'm going 110 on a 60, I know I can't break
My career and my music, 'till I abolish what is fake
Maybe I'll be lucky and find an early grave, then I won't have to face
The pain of this mistake
That's you

Now you're gone that's clear, I'm a busted chandelier
All the diamonds on the floor, but the stars are near
I'm looking deep inside, to every smoky mirror
You're the last thing I want, but damn I need you here
I'm feeling pain in my heart, numb in my wrists
This poetry is magic, but I swear it’s not a trick
It's: honest, and truthful, and real, and new
But every fucking page, is all about you
It's a matter of time, oh wait I did it again
Left another girl behind, said "its cool lets be friends"
But I don't know if I meant it, I skipped right to the end
I don't know if I meant it!
Baby, you're the living proof, of one I wouldn't pick
I'm a god damned needle, and you're my god damned fix
Be my own disaster, so when we're old and worn
I'll see right through, the eye of this storm
That's you

I'm sick of bell chimes
And I'm sick of these rhymes