Trauma Interlude

Some people should live happy lives
But not me
It seems like everyday I seek more than what I sought
The more and more I seem to dwell on my thoughts
Like maybe if I end it all with a gunshot
I'll never have to deal with all this anymore
I can't stand life as a whore

And I'm the dirty bitch he fucks every time
Like why the fuck is it me
I lived my whole life being bullied in to me
Now I'm sittin' here
With a gun in my sleep
Hopin' that nobody misses me
When I fuckin' leave
Don't you cry knowin' how this fuckin went
How many times did I tell you how I was spent
Not that you cared
Took as long as you did
And guess what
Now you lost your last kid

I've been pushed over the edge too many times
I'm surprised I haven't killed anyone yet
But somethin' inside tells me I don't wanna do it
I wanna die but I know that if I do
I'll be leavin' behind everyone that matters now
Focus on them and I won't focus hard on you
For so many years all the shit that you put me through
Maybe now I can finally go to sleep and wake up feeling all differently
I hope this world burns and I walk along the ashes
Of everyone in my family and my classes

Yea you sit there
And you think that its funny
Be glad I got plans or I'd be the next Bundy
Fuck all of you
All of you can die
I'll never be one with your friends
And I'll never be one with your life