Everybody Ought To Have A Maid

Everybody ought to have a maid
Everybody ought to have a working girl
Everybody ought to have a lurking girl
To putter around the house
Everybody ought to have a maid
Everybody ought to have a menial
Consistently congenial
And quieter than a mouse
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delicious
Tidying up the dishes
Neat as a pin
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful
Sweeping out
Sleeping in

Everybody ought to have a maid
Someone who you hire when you're short of help
To offer you the sort of help
You never get from a spouse
Fluttering up the stairway
Shuttering up the windows
Cluttering up the bedroom
Buttering up the master
Puttering all around the house
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delicious
Tidying up the dishes
Neat as a pin
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful
Sweeping out
Sleeping in

Everybody ought to have a maid
Someone who in fetching you your slipper will
Be winsome as a whipporwill
And graceful as a grouse
Skittering down the hallway
Flittering through the parlor
Tittering in the pantry
Littering up the bedroom

Twittering all around the house

A maid?
A maid
A maid

A maid
Everybody ought to have a maid
Everybody ought to have a serving-girl
A loyal and unswerving girl
To putter around the house
Oh, oh

Think of her at the dustbin
'Specially when she's just been
Traipsing about

Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful

Living in
Giving out

Everybody ought to have a maid
Daintily collecting bits of paper n' strings
Appealing in her apron strings
And graceful as a grouse

Pattering through the attic
Chattering in the cellar
Clattering in the kitchen
Flattering in the bedroom

Puttering all around the house
The house
The house

A maid?
A maid
A maid
A maid

Everybody ought to have a maid
Someone who's efficient and reliable
Obedient and pliable
And quieter than a mouse
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be so nimble
Fiddling with her thimble
Mending her gown
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful

Cleaning up
Leaning down

Everybody ought to have a maid
Someone who'll be busy as a bumblebee
And even if you grumble, be
As graceful as a grouse

Wriggling in the anteroom
Jiggling in the dining room
Giggling in the living room
Wiggling in the other rooms

Puttering all around the house
The house
The house
The house