The Blue Pool, Pt. 1

Watching, waiting
A midlife crisis in the making
Hindsight will break you
Everything you hated it'll make you

I don't want to be violent, I don't want to be sick
I don't want anybody else to suffer because of it
Now I'm trapped in the circle, my personality split

The real question is
How much will I regret doing nothing about it
How much will I regret making a terrible mistake
(I know it sounds easy, I know it sounds easy)
Is it holding me back or keeping me safe
You know I'm desperately searching for an easier way
I know who I am, but I don't know who I want to be

Now and then, I remember the pain
But my memories have softened all the negative experience
I whitewash it like a holiday
I wonder why I couldn't just have pushed a little harder

I don't want to be violent, I don't want to be sick
I don't want anybody else to suffer because of it
Now I'm trapped in the circle, my personality split

The real question is
How much will I regret doing nothing about it
How much will I regret making a terrible mistake
(I know it sounds easy, I know it sounds easy)
Is it holding me back or keeping me safe
You know I'm desperately searching for an easier way
I know who I am, but I don't know who I want to be

I honestly wish that I could live two lives
See how it all pans out and then decide
Dreams are the last place left to hide

The real question is
How much will I regret doing nothing about it
How much will I regret making a terrible mistake
(I know it sounds easy, I know it sounds easy)
Is it holding me back or keeping me safe
You know I'm desperately searching for an easier way
I know who I am, but I don't know who I want to be