​i need serious help

Are you there?
Can you hear me?
I wish you would answer the phone
I miss you
I dreamt of you last night
Maybe we could-

I choke on my own spit just like a little kid
Devour big strawberries too much for me to fit it in
I’ll listen to your music, and it loops inside my head
Oh, I know it hurts to hear, but maybe I should be dead

I know you think I'm better, I’m not better than before
A light pierced through the trees and it glistens, not much more
I’ve never felt lonelier, but I think I’m doing well
I don’t know if I’ve said it yet, but goddamn it hurts like hell

I’ve been stuck inside, stuck in this room for weeks
And now it dawned on me, and it finally made me think
Losing almost everything, but I get to be me again
Is that what I needed in the end?

I know you think I'm better, I’m not better than before
A light pierces through trees and it glistens, not much more
I’ve never felt lonelier, but I think I’m doing well
I don’t know if I’ve said it, but goddamn it hurts like hell

We kissed again in the kitchen, I said goodbye then I left
The whole time I could feel my heart beating out my chest
I matched red hatred with discipline so blue
Our lips locked, you thought of him, so what more could I do?

I know you think I’m better, but I’m not better than before
I need help, like, I’m serious, I could use a little more
It hurt like hell, yeah sure, but really, I’m so glad you’re gone
So much time wasted, it was so fucking long

Hey
After all of this is over
Do you think we could meet up for some coffee?
I know it's been a minute since we talked
But I don't think I can do this without you
I shouldn't have given up the way I did
Maybe if I get some help
Things will get better
But would I still be me?