Feeling like the Ceiling

[Hook]
When you’re feeling like your reeling
And these feelings get too real and
You start feeling like the ceiling
Like you’re hanging from a rope or
A noose, you need to hope and cut loose
We need to start the healing, yo

[Verse 1]
You go and find a room with the wallpaper peeling
Reflecting on your past like a mirror, pop a pill in
They treat you like it's clear that you’re a villain
And your mind goes boom, you get a skyscraper feeling
Not like success, but the complete opposite
Like you wanna fall from it
It sucks ass, you need to postulate the constant hate
Your thoughts between meh and depression
Under your breath, you reply to them
They treat everyone like an exception
Except you, why won’t they just accept you?
Yo, everyone was using you
They were abusing you
They were rusing you
And they were bruising you
Just because you weren’t scared to be different
They started the bickering and gave you all the ignorance
If you were stronger
You’d get revenge
Like Garette did
If you’re in the wrong or not
But again
You wanna snap their necks
Break it like a carrot stick
But instead of raising your voice
You made this crazy choice
To take your own life
You don’t care who’s it destroys
You wanna give up the fight
So you tie the noose and get the ladder
Or maybe you’ll shoot out your brain matter

[Verse 2]
Feel like getting drunk and faded
Finally, this is it my last day of being hated
I have so many options but don’t know what to choose
They aren’t gonna know what they’re about to lose
Pop a couple xannies, they’ve fentanyl in ‘em
Get found by my nanny
Wash ‘em down with Pepto that’ll get ‘em
I’m getting so high now I feel like a pigeon when it’s winging it
Go out and get fried like a blunt when hitting it
Gotta smoke one last one before I’m ending it
Fuck it

[Verse 3]
Fuck, it didn’t work
All that shit did was make my fucking neck hurt
I’ve already tried to make my wrists squirt
My depression grew with me like a growth spurt
Maybe it’s time for a change of mind
But I thought it was made up
I’m sick of all the shit and the lies, straight up
I want to just plan my demise, laid up
But God won’t let it blow, like Plies, wait up
I forgot to write a note, wait up
I think God just picked up the remote, wake up
I’m alive and awake but still so contrived, a mistake
I gave up hope
I wrote my note
And I tied the fucking rope
But as I’m about to and end it
I think about that piece of paper, how I penned it
Then I take my self down, I’m removing the pendant
I can barely walk independent
I walk over and pick up the paper
And I started reading it and felt an endless anger

[Verse 4]
Mom - I’ve always loved you, but these guys are making me want to say goodbye. I’ll miss watching TV and eating your cooking. You raised me right and I can’t thank you more for that look you gave me when you were proud of me. But it’s time, so really I must be moving
Dad - Thanks for teaching me how to throw a ball and fight, whenever you’d come home from a business trip, that shit would make my night. I’m sorry for what’s about to happen, But it’s time, so I really must be capping
Lil’ Bro - I know you’re only eight, and you’re probably gonna be the one to find me in my fate, you know I always confided in my faith, but I’ve been through all my options and I’m exhausted, there’s no hiding. I showed you LeBron James and I know he’s your idol and I also taught how to deconstruct the Bible, but I’ll see you in a while

[Verse 5]
Wait, hold up
Maybe the key’s in the reading
Fuck this suicide shit, man, I’m retreating
I’m not gonna let those people demean me
I’m hoping for God to come down and redeem me
This is my calling
I know I was falling, I cry out
And I was bawling, my eyes out
I’m not gonna turn my back on God now
The last thing I wanna be to Him is a fraud
He got in my brain and rewired that shit, I forget
About those little assholes, throwing their threats
I just need to stop thinking about what they’ve been thinking about me
I need to stop and breathe and remember this shit’s only really temporary
I need to visit the monastery and become a visionary
Listen to logic and reason
Kick my feet up and write out my feelings, relax
Put all my thoughts and my healing on wax
Please God, let me be able to vent these thoughts to millions
In the beginning, I was only a civilian
Now I’m a preacher giving my opinion
Recording songs but never smother
Music was the key, now I can hug my little brother
Jesus gave me freedom when I speak
I used to wanna give myself the .44
Now I can listen to Matthew 4:4 plus 11
Because I’ve been meek
Now with the truth in this confession
I knew my music was the key, now I can hug my little brother
I’ll live for all today and I’ll live another

[Verse 6]
And I was confused
Wanted to take an interlude
But I won't rest now, I refuse
Cause if I break and I lose
My temper is as loose as a pre-k tooth